Okay, look. I'm sorry, you'll never know how sorry, I linked to Motherhood Uncensored and said all those mean things about Kristen. I get it, okay, she's perfect and you love her and I'm a total bitch.
Now stop sending me e-mail, dammit.
Okay, look. I'm sorry, you'll never know how sorry, I linked to Motherhood Uncensored and said all those mean things about Kristen. I get it, okay, she's perfect and you love her and I'm a total bitch.
Now stop sending me e-mail, dammit.
I fed my kids Golden Crisps for dinner. Do you know what that is? I think the same cereal made by a different manufacturer is called "Sugar Smacks" or maybe now "Honey Smacks". Forget the sugar, forget the 's', just call the stuff Smack. Smack for kids. Wheeee yeahhh!!
Just in case you're about to call child protective services on me, don't worry... I rounded out the meal with some chicken empanadas. Now that's a square meal. Semi-circular if you want to be an ass-monkey about it.
Where's the Wonder Bread? Anyone for a grape jelly sandwich?
Okay. I'm mad now. Really mad. Typepad just ditched my post. Piece of crap. I HATE computers.
I've been trying nto send a post from my cell phone to my blog. Nope. Not working. What's up with that? I'm all technically savvy and stuff. So why isn't it working?
I'm at Starbucks. Lexus has a shuttle to the local shopping center for my consuming pleasure while I have my oil changed. Well, while my car is having her oil changed. This way, I can work/blog/e-mail friends/look at porn while I wait, and enjoy a cool beverage at the same time. Fabulous. Why don't they make cars that don't have to have their oil changed? I think this is some sort of conspiracy. Are we seriously not to the point technologically that we can't have cars that what? change their own oil? clean their own oil? Ridiculous!
I went to bed by myself last night and woke up with three other people in the bed. Luckily, they were all known to me. How is it that I end up clinging to the edge of the mattress on our king-sized bed while Vi and Avery sprawl luxuriously in the center? Dean and I were talking about how to encourage them to leave our bed. I don't really feel any motivation to do so. He says it would be nice not to fall asleep on the couch in front of the tivo and just stay there all night knowing the bed is occupado. Aww, poor Dean, it's not like there aren't four other bed choices in the house. A couple more if you count the dog beds. Heh. He says we should tell them that big black bugs are crawling out of the mattress at night or something along those lines. I'm thinking that might be asking for a trip to the therapists office. Or two.
But I'm not feeling all " !!!!! ". The end of the weekend is always a little bit of a let down time for me. Tonight I am sitting on my naked bed waiting for sheets to come out of the dryer. I can smell soap in the bathroom and I don't like the smell of this particular soap so I will probably go feed it to the garbage disposal soon but I'm almost too apathetic to do that. I'd almost rather sit and smell the bad smell.
I have no idea who Charles Dubois is but he said the following:
The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.
Can you tell I'm being all introspective and stuff? I so want to be the person that is living deliberately. I so want my life to matter. I so want to be the model for my girls to attain fulfillment and happiness in their adult lives. I so just want to laugh and laugh and laugh and know that I am loved enough so it overflows out of me and into everyone around me. I so do not want to sound like I'm in eighth grade, and I do, I know.
I laugh and blush when I think of the idealistic little twerp I used to be, but damn, I had big dreams back then- I was going to rule the world and eat ice cream and potato chips for breakfast every morning just because I could.
I just keep asking myself: What am I doing? What am I doing?
I've been away from Dean and the girls for a couple of days now. Last night I *GADS* drank alcohol, dished with a gaggle of girls next to the pool and finally retired to my room where I stayed up all night watching movies and eating Laffy Taffy. No, I didn't watch porn, even though I wanted to. (It's not that I like watching porn so much as I have a morbid curiosity about porn that I can just never shake, no matter how much porn I see. It's kinda like driving by an accident... what will I see? Do I really want to see? I don't know, ooo, but I want to...but I digress)
Anyhow, the longer I'm with myself the more I harken back to me before Dean and the girls. That makes sense doesn't it? Well, back in the day I used to post on the UW bulletin board or 'bb' as it was called. My bb handle was Feral. That should tell you something right there. I was an instigator. I pretty much, well, started flame wars left and right and pissed of the old guard every chance I got. It was fun. I was young and didn't really recignize that all those posts and handles had honest-to-goodness-real-people attached to them somewheres in the real world. And let me tell you people, I can be a cruel, witty girl. Me? A mean girl? But hey, this whole Blogher thing has smacked strangely of the bb world. The little hierarchy, who's-better-than-who-thing.
[SNARKY STUFF REMOVED- SEE ABOVE]
Maybe I've just been huffing too much glue lately, sucking on too many whipped cream cans or something, but is there alot of this I'm-going-to-say-one-thing-and-do-a-totally-different-thing stuff going on out there? Since I got here to Blogher, I've been reading some blogs that I've never read before and there is this whole solidarity rhetoric going on with the "I'm going to tell it like it is" crowd, you know those pretty girls who are going to out all the myths of motherhood and womanhood, open all our eyes. Really? Is that what your doing when you're detailing the celebs you'd do if you had a weekend to yourself? Is that what you're doing when you're telling us how hot you are in a round-about way-- that you evoke jealously from the wife of the guy you so innocently interacted with in the coffee line and gosh darned it you just can't help it and poor you can't have any friends cause everyone is just jealous of you(hottie!)? And your self-effacing mention of your insecurities about not being recognized right before you detail how you partied with the Blogher rockstars all weekend.
And maybe that's why political scares people these days... because political is really political-lite. Political is cheerleader-political. I'm telling you, I'm not sure I want these people waging the war to unveil motherhood on my or anyone else's behalf- if that's what is actually being done at all.
No, but really, I'm probably just that bitchy or just that jealous. You decide.
Whew. So, I totally came to Blogher to meet Nancy. Nancy. What can I say. She's everything I dreamed and more. You know I can't resist a woman with silver-painted toenails and she has the tiniest hands but, whew, look out when she smiles! Gorgeous girl, I'm in love... good thing, too, considering that we're apparently lesbian lovers with kids between us(go read the comments on the Duggar Debate post comments where, apparently, I'm supposed to be insulted to be called a lesbian). But the best part was the talking like we'd been in-person friends our whole lives. So, yes, I met Nancy and we hung out and it was fabulous. Mission accomplished. Looking forward to more of that today.
I met some other fabulous women, as well. Roo, from Roo the Day, has the most unbelievably gorgeous hair- I think I will always associate her in my head with that long, thick, dark ponytail that, damn, I wish I had. She definately has the presence about her to carry off that hair. I get the sense that you'd better watch out when that hair comes down. I met Dawn, from I'm Doing the Best I Can. When she walked up, I watched the people around me, who are apparently familiar with her blog(s), light up. She clearly falls on people's scales somewhere between highly esteemed and goddess. She is strangely unassuming and yet absolutely entertaining to talk to. Jen, from Once More... With Feeling was cracking me up(I know, I know.. hard to do) but really. And so then I go to check out her blog because, well, we're the same age and stuff, and she wrote a little vignette of this guy in Starbucks who whipped out his NYLON WITH VELCRO WALLET and you know, she's my friend for life now because you know how I feel about velcro in general let alone a NYLON WITH VELCRO WALLET. That was the first thing I had to do to groom Dean as a boyfriend: bye bye nylon and velco, hello leather(really, dear, are you still in 7th grade? No?). And she was wearing the absolute cutest shoes so I felt like we were kindred spirits. Can you be my friend if you don't appreciate good shoes? Yes, but you won't have nearly as much fun shopping with me.
All in all, what a marvelous time to be surrounded by witty, intelligent women with opinions. I love you, darlings, I love you all. And look, I'm not even drunk when I say that!
Blogher has, so far, been an interesting experience in that I've come to realize what a strange and hierarchical community the blog-O-sphere actually is. There are, apparently, all these fabulous rock-star-bloggers that I'm missing out on worshipping daily. But whatever, I read who I read and am otherwise clueless.
Back on the homefront, I'm going to sneak off for a bit today and go feed and turn out Cosette and Apollo. Hopefully, Dean will survive the day with the girls. I did all the laundry before I left so no one should be running around naked. Geez, whenever I think of people running around naked, Herman running around his cage without his shell on pops into my head and I get a little sad. That's sad that naked people have been ruined, at least temporarily, for me.
Computer died. IT sent me a new one and quick, too. I was very glad to have backed up my whole laptop to my externl harddrive and lost absolutely nothing in the crash. That's a first.
Up doing laundry now. The iron is hot. I'm striking, I'm striking.
Went to sate my VS addiction this evening. I had my reward coupon and a $10 off coupon cause it was my birthday. Hoo, snuck that in there huh? Bought a new bra and a fistful of boyshorts, string bikinis and whatever else struck my fancy. My favorites? The white with pink polka dots panties that were free with purchase. They gave me an xtra-small. Shockingly, they fit. I realize now I've been buying my underwear at least a size too big. What an idiot I feel like, but what an excellent excuse to restock the naughty drawer.
Must get back to laundry.
Blogher is tomorrow. No chance I'm making it to the 7am breakfast. No FREAKING way. Uh uh. I never eat breakfast anyway. Of course, we have some fat organic strawberries in the fridge. Those could be good on some cereal, so maybe I will eat breakfast.
Rip out cheap-o carpeting and refinish hardwood floors underneath
install new flooring in dining room and kitchen
replace bathroom floors and put in new floor covering
replace cabinetry in bathrooms with something a little less 1950's
replace all interior doors
replace all interior trim
replace exterior doors
get a new garage door
get new windows
reinsulate the attic
install fans in the attic and both bathrooms
replace kitchen cabinetry and appliances
rewire the house
repipe the house
replace exterior stucco
a second story would be nice
as would central air conditioning
hmm.. looking at that list... I'm thinking it's time to tear the whole thing down and just start over.
Can you believe this heat? It's insane. As I was leaving the ranch the other day the thermostat (outside) on the Lexus registered at 111. Help! I'm being slow-roasted!
I had a typically crazy week. On Tuesday I went to a fabulous dinner at a fancy Italian restaurant in Napa. It was a dinner with a bunch of people from the wine industry, both clients of ours and others(prospects we like to think). I sat next to some old friends and some new clients and what a great evening we all had. There was veal and halibut and yellow beans and roasted baby potatoes and pasta. And of course, the clients all brought wine to share. There was some of my favorite Etude Pinot- for the second time this month I think! Some Montevina Terra d'Oro Zinfandel which was AMAZING- and I don't even like Zin. I guess that's why I was amazed. It had been opened for a bit so I think the character was much better and not overpowered by that original spiciness that comes straight out of a freshly opened bottle of zin.
I stayed over in Napa at the John Muir. It was not a bad place to stay at all. There were some not-so-good reviews on the web but I didn't have much choice as I booked at the last minute. Anyhow, I think most of the bad reviews were from people expecting a Wine-Country-Boutique-Hotel-type-place. I found it to be clean, comfortably appointed and quiet despite the proximity to hwy 29. The wireless even worked properly, always a plus in my book- especially since I was up until 5am finishing the presentation I was giving to a client at 9:30am.
Meeting with the client went well and we all went out for lunch at a new taqueria that opened on hwy 29 near Mondavi. Best mexican food I've ever had, I have to say. I can't wait to drag Dean up there. I actually brought him back a tostada but it didn't travel too well. Anyhow, it was cheap, too. That's saying something considering it is in St. Helena where we easily pay $100 for lunch for four... a $5 lunch special is looking mighty fine no matter how it tastes! But this was good, so bonus! But spicy- and no place to sit indoors... so we were all sweating profusely out in the heat of the midday trying to make amicable small talk. It was kinda funny.
I laid low on Thursday and Friday as I'd been working way too much earlier in the week. Pulling an all-nighter, I figure, entitles me to a little down time. I went and rode Apollo on both days- which is good because with the heat this weekend... nothing doing here with me going to the ranch.
Friday night, Dean and I went to see Monster House. It was cute. Glad we didn't take the girls- way too scary for Avery with the spooky-kid-and-tricycle-eating house. The girls went to the Little Gym that night.
Yesterday, we tried to stay out of the heat. We went to the pool, of course. It was so hot that I could barely walk on the concrete apron around the pool. We swam for a few hours, until 7pm when it closed. After that we went to a mexican restaurant for dinner and hung out there until 9:30-ish. After that we went to see Apollo- since the hills have been on fire, I wanted to make sure everything looked okay at the ranch and that he waasn't in harms way. The ranch had their water trucks all filled up and ready to go.
We'll be going to the pool again soon. The air conditioner in the bedroom is keeping us cool for now, but by late afternoon it won't likely be able to keep up and so we'll go to the pool then. We'll probably try to go to dinner again somewhere air-conditioned while the house is cooling down. Same old, same old.
Today was fabulous! A day like today solidifies my belief in the almighty, because all this miraculous wonderfulness could not have been the result of some randomness. It just couldn't, I'm sorry. Is it narcissistic to think that God made this my perfect day today? I just can't imagine that anyone else enjoyed it quite as much as I did, so it must be mine.
Which is weird, because someone hit the lexus in the shopping center parking lot as I was picking up the birthday gift for the party we were going to today. Normally, that would make me really grouchy, especially considering that they didn't stop, didn't leave a note, nada. And this is my brand-new-only-brand-spankin'-new-car-i've-ever-had-because-i'm-much-too-practical-with-money-to-buy-a-brand-new-car-off-the-lot-but-i-had-to-have-it-and-there-aren't-any-used-ones-yet-LEXUS. But for some reason, the second I saw the white paint scraped into my rear bumper, the kids faces flashed before my eyes and I had a total wow-i-could-have-been-in-a-real-accident-and-this-is-just-some-stupid-paint-on-my-bumper moment. Anyhow, the bright side is that the dealership will give me a nice SUV to test drive while they are fixing up(or replacing) my bumper which is possibly our next vehicle purchase as Dean's going to be needing a new car soon.
But what made this day so great? Well, I woke up to Avery hugging me and then she told me all about the fabulous dream she had where she was a butterfly and could float around. Later, Friends of our had a beautiful birthday party for their kids- Brenna and Gavin who are Viola and Avery's ages respectively. There was a giant bounce-house-style slip-n-slide which was a ton of fun. It was hot as all get out. The food was great- chicken skewers with grilled veggies and this wonderful orzo salad. There were lots of our friends there and we all basically sat around under umbrellas eating good food and talking and playing wth our kids. I had one of those serious moments of contentment that just lasted for hours, and it was great. Ooo! There were even pinatas! The girls had a great time and afterward, we all went to the pool and swam until seven. We came home and had a fabulous hunk of meat for dinner that Dean did up to perfection on the grill. There was chocolate ganache cake for dessert!
I sang Avery to sleep on my chest- a little Bach aria in German. It made me happy that she liked it so well and it put her to sleep because it is one of my favorite songs. Now she is splayed out on her back in the archer position like she used to sleep when she was a newborn.
I don't know. It was a good day. A perfect day.
But yeah. What's up with people going on vacation to Florida? I get the whole Disney World thing... but otherwise? I've been there a couple times, usually on my way somewhere else. We stayed in Miami on our way to South America. It was hot and muggy. I wasn't terribly impressed. I mean, I think everyone should see every place they can in our country- we have lots of cool stuff to see everywhere. But why do people keep going back to Florida, their annual family vacation? They are like strange migratory birds or something. Why go to Florida when you can go to Paris? Or Budapest? Or Tokyo? Or Vancouver even?
And look Florida-people, I'm not dissin' your choice of vacation spot... I just don't get it. Can you explain?
I love these beautiful, hot, sunny days. I got up early yesterday and went to the ranch to spend some time with Apollo. After a fabulous ride, I gave him a nice bath. I drove home, stopping to pick up my iced vanilla latte from Starbucks, with the music blasting and the sunroof open. When I got home, the girls and I washed the car and hung out in the front yard with the neighbors and their son who is Viola's age.
We then headed to the pool for a couple hours of swimming before dinner. Avery is finally swimming a little with her head up and out of the water. She jumped off the diving board and I missed catching her as she went into the water, but she kicked herself up to the surface- bad mommy!! I would have gotten her if she hadn't come up on her own. Still, I thought it was pretty cool that she got herself up from so far under. Avery practiced jumping in from the side and swimming to me- almost all the way out to the middle of the pool. She's getting good. Viola, well, she finished her second session swimming lessons and has moved up another level. She was beginner 2, so whatever comes next. She's learning to 'freestyle', we're working on getting her to turn her head and actually breathe. She also did a backwards cannonball off the diving board.
When we got home, we hung out mroe with the neighbors. Matthew came over to show us his bubble gun and the kids rode scooters on the sidewalk in front of our houses. I cleaned the rest of the plums off the plum tree. We had some of those aidell sausages for dinner and leftover ribs (mmm!). Dean and the girls played some Twister while I finished up a project for work.
Today is going to be even hotter, they're estimating up to 100 in parts of the East Bay. Apollo is getting the day off, both because of the heat and because he's been worked pretty hard almost every day since Wednesday and I could tell the guy was getting worn out yesterday. I think you'll probably find us at the pool today. In fact, I think I'll try to be there when the gates open- get myself a nice chaise lounger. Otherwise it's the usual... laundry, picking up the house, getting some work done that's due, oh, you know, last week.
Work has been pretty hectic lately. Even though I had a whole week this week of working from home and not having to drive to visit any clients, I had about 4 presentations due. I'm presenting at a client in St. Helena on Wednesday and I'll be at an industry dinner on Tuesday night, so I'll probably stay over in Napa. Of course the Hilton is booked so I may end up in some 'inn' which might be a scary proposition. Well, you know me, livin' life on the edge. Ha!
Does anyone else get annoyed when their husband doesn't get a haircut? Dean is starting to look like one of the Beatles and it's driving me crazy. Get your hair cut man!! Or I'm going to bring home the horse clippers(aka sheep shears) and do it myself!!! Leave your socks on the bedroom floor, take a nap on the couch while we're all trying to get ready to go to the pool, but for goodness sake get your hair cut!! It's not like I'm asking him to get a manicure or something. Geez.
Ugh. And I would be getting my period right now if I didn't have my mirena iud- which I love dearly. However, how do I know I'd be getting my period? Gee, could it be the fourteen zits that have taken up residence on my forehead and chin? Could it be the shopping trip to Trader Joes in which I bought ginger snaps, fruit jellies, peanut butter pretzels, ganache cake and forgot the milk, bread and cereal? Hmm...
I've been having trouble getting here to post. I have that summer disease... laziness.
Actually, we've been very busy. The girls are at the pool almost every day, usually with me in tow. Avery is finally swimming all on her own and floating all real and proper like. Viola has gone from guppy to shark in about a week, literally. She likes to chase us around the pool, swimming underwater with her hands over her head like a shark fin. And we can't say enough about the diving board. Avery actually went off the diving board for the first time two days ago and she's on it now. Viola is the back-flipper, cannonballer, etc.. Evryone is brown, brown, brown despite my sole funding of the sunblock industry. I'm even getting a little tan through my SPF 45- slow-roasted style!
I caught sight of an equestrian property up in Washington the other day- only $600K- practically FREE!! Well, compared to here. It would be a lower mortgage payment, a bigger house, more land with room for the horses AND we wouldn't ave to board those ponies! Of course, then I would be required to much my own stalls. Not a problem since I love every aspect of horsekeeping, even the poop. If we don't move soon and find a place to keep the horses we're going to have to find a situation for Cosette. She's been very lame since she had the infection in her leg and it doesn't seem to be getting better. She's always had lameness issues and I think they've been exacerbated now. I don't know if she'll ever be more than a broodmare now. Which is fine because we'll tale care of her, regardless. And she is a great mommy! I'd just like to have er someplace where she can be a horse a little bit better. She can't be in a huge, open pasture with her lameness issues but she is in a paddock(mini pasture right now) and could be in a somewhat larger pasture maybe with another horse for company. Anyhow, I'm also dying to get the girls a horse- or pony- something totally dead broke and bombproof that can pack them around as they learn to ride more independently. Dean is completely involved with Foxy. Apollo and I have made alot of progress and continue to do so. So we have a full stable with these three horses- it would be nice to have our own place, really.
But leave California? Leave this beautiful weather? I just don't know...
ah... another fabulous day at Ramekins. Yesterday's dinner was stupendous. We had these crunchy little appetizers- won ton wrappers with brie and mushrooms in side. A fabulous tomato salad with panzanella started us off. The main course was chicken piccata with lemon-pistachio cous-cous and asparagus and roasted red pepper bundles. For dessert- hazelnut cakes with buttery bourbon sauce. The chicken piccata was divine- I've never had anything more flavorful! And of course, we had a great deal of fabulous wine- all from the client including one of my all time favorites- Etude pinot noir. Amazing. It was an amazing meal.
Now I have a long weekend and no idea what to do with myself. The horses could all use baths, as could the car, and the kids. We'll probably go swimming. I've been avoiding the horribly aging sun, but now that I see my girls running around with skin the color of coffee beans, I'm a little jealous. Hey, and they are constantly covered in 30 spf waterbabies sunblock(you know, that costs like $400 a bottle- when did sunscreen get so expensive?) So I'm rethinking the whole tanning thing. Quick, someone talk me out of it, I don't want to get skin cancer. Ahh, but I want that honeyed glow. We all know that I'll go out riding one day and forget sunscreen and come back lobster red- may as well control the situation and slowl build up my base tan, right?
Dean's got the girls doing jumping jacks in the living room right now. Heh. Man, I am such a slug, I can hardly move right now.