My Name is Mommy

we had door and now we have floor

Yes, the granite floor that is in the kitchen and dining room will be finished today.  I think they will start cleaning it up and grouting it tomorrow.  It is absolutely beautiful- a black border with a diamond pattern of blue pearl and black absolute.  I'm so glad no one talked me out of the granite floor.  Yes, the stuff is heavy as hell to carry.  es, every dish or glass I drop on it will shatter but it is the most gorgeous thing ever. To me. Someone else will probably hate it, but hey, its MY kitchen.

Mom and dad get into town today.

We had the big meeting about Viola on Wednesday.  It went well.  Viola is going to start back at her old school in the fall.  There will be some changes.  I'm not thrilled about sending her but she wants to go and that's where her friends are and the alternatives aren't great here.  But that is off my shoulders for now and I'm glad for that.

Avery is doing really well at the Montessori school- loves it there and is learning to write in cursive.

The 2005 taxes are finally done and we don't owe anything which is a plus.

So why do I still feel so disturbed?  Things are moving right along with the kitchen and dininng room.  Should be finished, I hesitate to say, for the most part by the end of the month.

I guess I just hate this chaos.  Even though our washer and dryer ws finally delivered, it still isn't up and running.  Plumber has got to check something out and the electrician has to flip the switch for the electricity in that wall still. Ugh. Don't want to go to the laundromat anymore.

We have door.

Yesterday we put in the door between the house and the garage because today the tile floor is going in.  The laundry room floor was grouted.  The ceiling and alls were finished being painted.  Hurray for the paint sprayer- that thing rocks.

Did I mention that our GE Monogram refrigerator arrived and won't fit in the garage and so is sitting in front of the house.  The thing is ginormous so my nig push is to et the floor in so we can get the refrigerator in.  Everyone thinks I'm crazy and should do the cabinets first but I'm 5'10" and I need the cabinets to be as high as possible. That means they need to go on TOP of the tile.  I know this can be done because I read the internet.

Its sort of bizarre but you can pretty much find out whatever you want to find out from the internet.  I know you know this.  I just marvel at it because I've been able to do alot of stuff on my own for this project with just the internet guiding me.

I guess we'll see how that all turns out, ha ha ha.

I love that I set the floor in the laundry and told everyone not to walk on it it and the I came the next morning ans ther were little tiny Missy cat footprints all over it.  Just like she always hones in on guests who are allergic to cats, she knew right where to go.

Avery did the whole set of monkey bars yesterday.  Her hands are so blistered from trying and still she wanted to do it, so I taped her hands up with athletc tape like a gymnast and she did it.  Look out world.  This is a kid who won't two hands covered in blisters from making it across 15 rungs of monkeybars.  There isn't anything going to get in her way ever, I'm guessing.

Viola finished up a week at soccer camp and we start our practices tomorrow.  I have most of my girls back and I'm very excited to see them all after the summer- I don't know why I am so attached to them but I adore my little soccer girls.  They all try so hard and have so much fun.

On the animals front, I'm a little sad because I jusdt haven't had time to spend with Tink so we've lost a bit of our bond.  She doesn'r hop right out onto my arm anymore.  But when things settle down, I'm sure all will be well again.  I still do not have clearance to ride as a fall could cause something to rip or tear or break and then there would be bleeding and that would be bad.  I have had something going on in my left side where I have a big incision, some bruising and swelling which makes me think I topre some internal stitches.  I have porders to go get bloodwork and have been putting it off because seriously, I don't want to go spend time in the hospital getting infusions right now.  I can't.  I won't.  I know, I'm bad.

The good and bad part of remodelling is all the take-out.  I could eat chinese food every day if it didn't make me break out and give Dean blocked arteries.  We've had Indian, we've had lots of sandiwches and pizza.  I've gotten crazy with the pizza. I ordered chicken, garlic, olives and tomatoes.  Sounded good to me but it didn't go over the best with the troops.  Oh, if only I could COOK!

Soon.  I'll put up pics soon, too.  Now, I unloaded about 30  sheets of cement board yesterday- meaning got them on the cart at home despot, got them into the truck, unloaded them into the garage at home. My body aches. Need to go rest more.

I've always known the world is too much.

If you take it all in, it is just too much.  Bridges collapsing, miners getting trapped, fucking masked cowards shooting people in the backs of their heads.  And hell, the bad stuff is easier to assimilate than the good.  Because the good feels so tenuous and fleeting.  Heroism, love, those moments when the universe is amplified because life has suddenly and briefly clicked into that niche of perfection- those moments when you say, "this will not come again, it can't or my heart will burst".  Am I different?  Does everyone get a knot in their stomach over people trapped in a mine, does everyone feel their breath catch at some simple radiance like how the light falls through the window in the afternoon?  It's too much.

I'm weepy right now because I know Viola is on her way back to me from camp and while I've tried to be strong and not worry- a piece of me was aware of her absence every moment she was gone.  I wouldn't admit it for fear of attracting the evil eye of the gods but I fear for my children every moment they are away from me.

I know I'm mental.

I can blame it on the house being torn up and too much work and fighting the school district over Viola's harrassment complaint and the stress of doing back taxes.  But I think, even if I didn't have all those things going on, I would still be like this.  I think something is wrong with me.

I'll tell you how it's going.

We are full swing in the middle of this remodel thing.  I have to say, I'm glad I've had this to distract me from the discomforts of healing from my surgeries.  They put up the new drywall today!  Two weeks ago we had a regular old kitchen and dining room.  Last week at this time, it had been completely gutted and my dad had come down and reframed the place.

This week has been some nasty nitty gritty stuff- redoing the furnace ducts, had the electrician come and wire everything, plumbing all roughed in, put up miles of insulation(I still have a fiberglass sliver in my thumb I can't seem to extract), plated all the elctrical and plumbing so they don't shoot screws into it when drywalling, put down the underlayment on the floor which was a beeyotch.  I was up at 6 this morning to sheet the floor for the drywallers and finish stuffing more ceiling insulation up there.

I've got all my appliances ordered: GE Monogram double ovens and dishwasher are here already, matching 42" refrigerator and exhaust hood on their way, bosch all-induction cooktop also on its way.  I'm excited for the induction cooktop and how fast I'm going to be able to boil water.  t will be superior in the summer to cooking on gas and is just as responsive and good for low heat applications. Cool.  All the stuff you can do with a magnet.

I picked out light fixtures and ordered them twice only to find out both orders were canceled because the manufacturer has discontinued them. Blah.  I'm planning to go to the stone warehouse to pick up granite tild for the kitchen floor this weekend.

In other news- non house remodelling news: looks like Vi and Avery are going to have a new cousin! Go Mark and Yingbo!   

We're two years behind on our taxes- nuff said.

Vi left today for camp.  I can't stop thinking about/worrying about her.  I know she will be fine, but it still bugs me not to have her here.  I think this is the first time she's spent a night away from home without one of us.

I am healing fine.  I've been so stressed about the house and work and taxes and everything it is hard to tell if the surgery has helped my stomach/bleeding issues- maybe they would be even worse? Or maybe it didn't 'work.  I don;t know.  Pretty sure my blood count is backsliding as I've been having hankerings for ice again, so I better get in for an iron infusion.  As if I have a day to lounge around the hospital. Heh.

When the kitchen is done, you are all invited to dinner.  And I expect you to come.  I mean it.

I just realized..

if I went to bed now I could still get almost 8 hours of sleep and still get up at 5am.