My Name is Mommy: Girls again.

I flew up to Seattle on Wednesday evening. Fantastic. For once going without a work agenda- really just to enjoy myself and my friends. My goddaughter is having her First Communion on Sunday and her sister is the star of the play/musical Suessical and I absolutely had to see it because Maggie is a super-fab girl. I've never met a 13 year old that I liked, let alone wanted to hang with and ride horses with.

Feeling a little guilt at having left my own girls behind but sometimes moms need to recharge their batteries and remember what life was like before they had to put on their mommy-face all the time. If that applies to anyone, that's me right now. The fantastic thing is I've been missing Dean like crazy. We had goodbye-for-now sex in the shower the other morning and I felt like something cold and hard just melted away inside me. I think it is good for me to be away now so I can examine that a bit. But we've been calling every few hours to check in, even just to say "hi" and "I love you" when before I could have gone a whole business trip without hearing from him. He said, "I'm trying really hard." And you know what? God. I believe it, I really do, and it matters and it makes a difference.

Just know that if it falls through, my dear friends, you're going to have to come and rescue me from the bottom of a margarita pitcher.

I took Vi riding on Wednesday afternoon. She wore her new pink cowgirl boots with silver toes and her cowgirl hat and she was the bomb. She rode Power like she'd been riding forever. Thanks Lizzie for giving me the opportunity to take some special mommy-daughter time and bond with my girl who is struggling in some other ways. Dean says that since she has been completely together- no breakdowns, no frustration tantrums. We all need to feel special and amen if the horse isn't the way to a little girl's heart and soul. Pictures next week as it will be a regular program for us. Kicking myself I didn't do this sooner.

Arrived here to the open arms of Margaret, one of the best of my besties. The air was crackling around us with our combined energy. We spent our first night at the Sahalish Lodge overlooking Snoqualmie Falls- like sisters in our giant kind sized bed and the cute bell hop made us a huge crackling fire and we snuggled down in our jammies. I had the first night of real sleep I've had in 8 years.

Yesterday was an adventure. We had a fantastic room service breakfast and then headed for Seattle to go to the doctor. I'm going to fess up now- I had botox to get rid of the frown line between my eyes that has driven me crazy for ages. Then... yes! there's more! I got that filler stuff to get rid of the deep wrinkle lines next to my mouth- left my smile lines because I love my smile lines- just those permanent ones that run from the corner of my nose down. Then I got my face zapped with the laser to get rid of my acne scars from that freaking mirena IUD. Did I mention that I pulled my IUD out myself? TMI? Anyhow, since it has been out, the horrible cystic acne I've been battling on both cheeks and forehead has healed almost entirely but left some pretty dark scarring. I was very self-conscious of this because even as a teenager I never had acne and to suddenly get it in my early thirties? WTF? Yeah, so I'll be popping up here to Seattle to get a couple more laser treatments. You can say what you will about the whole cosmetic enhancement stuff, but I work in sales and it makes a difference. I feel better, too, so if they can do something that has relatively little risk and actually didn't cost me all that much... why the hell not? But I digress. Marg and I then hit the mall and did a little retail therapy. I got a gorgeous London Times dress in my favorites of favorite blues, a fabulous Juicy Couture black sweater that is classic and was 75% off(and I have no qualms about spending money on a long black sweater because everyone who knows me knows I am always cold and almost always wearing one of my long black sweaters- it is the new coat). Then I found a beautiful purple, fuchsia and black printed skirt- Kenneth Cole. Sweeeet. Fits like a dream and will go great with my demure little black cardigan from Banana.

After shopping and Starbucks, we headed out for dinner at a mexican place that used to be my fav when we lived up here so many years ago.Got my usual fajitas burrito- half is still in my mini fridge. Then we checked into the Downtown Bellevue Hyatt which is fabulous-fabulous. Got dressed in ur pretty new party clothes because Joey's was hopping downstairs. Got a little wild because it wouldn't be a girl's night without a little wild mischief to get up to. Marg snapped a couple of pics because I rarely get to put on my dancing shoes except whenever I feel like it. I just had to show off my cute little blue dress and I couldn't get over how pretty the lights in the courtyard outside our room were. The view from the room was great. The company was great. We had a great time. This has been an amazing week for me- reconnecting with a friend who is so very close to my heart who I thought might be slipping away, having a setback with my fabulous hunny and working through it to come out better on the other side, discovering a whole new side to my daughter and watching her blossom before my very eyes, finally being able to see Margaret again and pampering ourselves with fun and laughter, missing home- feeling so alive and happy I could just burst. Love it all. Life is a sweet ride.