Tonight I was helping Vi with her homework and she had to bring a "treasure" to school tomorrow- something that she could put in a little box to open up when she is feeling bad or sad or just needs a lift. What a freakin' fabulous idea, non? So, we went through a bunch of pictures and found one from soccer last year of the three of us- not so many pics of just the three of us, must do that more with both the girls.
And then I came across a picture of all of us at Disneyland. I am not entirely sure which trip it was... do know that Vi and I are wearing matching Tinkerbell shirts- me, who swore she would never own a piece of Disneyana clothing- holy cr-p!
And then I was browsing through this here pc pic folder...(I'm on the PC right now and not my laptop- yep getting used to it since no more shitty, crappy, always-crashing, no-letters-on-the-keys-anymore laptop from work)(can you tell I'm gonna miss it, woo!) and I came across some pictures of Nat I took for a contest at the restaurant she worked at here in Fremont. (*ahem*)
She'd kill me if I mentioned it... let alone posted the pics but since she can't really browse the web with both arms in casts, I think I might be safe. Hee hee. Not funny, I know. But tell me I don't have the most gorgeous sister ever...
And I miss my Lizzie... miss our Sunday rides. Looks like with me soon to be jobless we're going to be looking for new homes for the horses. That is a tough one for me. Alot of people don't understand the horse thing.
Yes, it is something that defines me. Yes, I love my horses- they are like members of the family and I wouldn't even think of selling them if I didn't have to... but they are an incredible amount of work and almost a second mortgage. No, make that a second first mortgage, ha! I can't justify putting my family through the strain it would cause them to try and hold onto the horses while I pursue advancing my education. And I will always have horses to ride... that is for sure.
What I do know is that there are times and phases and stages. I will figure something out- there will always be more horses and who knows, I had to let Apollo go once before and he came back to me so maybe he will again or maybe this was just another stop along the way for him. But yes, that is a not-so-happy thing on the horizon made a bit bearable by the fact that it is a sacrafice I am willing to make for my own sanity and in order to pursue something higher in my life.
Because, while I would be happy if the epitaph to my life was "that girl could ride" and "we laughed until our sides ached"-- I would be happier still to, when my life flashes before my eyes as it is said to do in our final moments, see a multitude of faces and places made happier by me and my life having touched them.