Kids are such tricky things. It is so apparent to me now that they are such their own little souls. Of course the things we do and say mould them and change them and pften, at the most akwartd of times, are reflected back to us in front of people we'd like not to see that side of ourselves. All in all, beyond being a loving experience, parenting has been a humbling experience... and that is a tough thing to say for someone like me with a size grande ego and who likes to pretend she knows it all. Now, I'm not being all self-deprecating here because I've really mellowed out over the years and lost so many of those insecurities that dictated the parts of myself I was willing to share with others, but truth be told, I still am a product of a society that care more about how things look than how things are. We just have to turn on CNN to realize some of that.
My favorite pudding is pistachio. I could and have eaten Almond Roca til I was sick. I used to love the smell of vanilla in candles and soap and things but then everything started smelling like that and everyone seemed to like it so for a while I liked lemon and now I like peony and violet. If I had to lose one of my senses, taste would be the first to go. I might actually like that. Things often look better than they actually taste. But then someone told me taste was more about smell than anything else and I love my sense of smell. I love how smell can transport you to a particular place and time and feeling like no other sensory trigger. I would miss touch terribly. I think I'd rather be blind than deaf. I love to sing and am not so good at it so can you imagine how horrible it would be if I was deaf on top of that? Being blind would suck but I think I could adapt quite a few aspects of my life and maybe I'd spend far less time fussing in front of the mirror (see ego above) and its not like I don't already trip over stuff I can see perfectly well right in front of me anyway. Never to hear music again? Never to hear Ave or the Girls Chorus sing again? Never to hear Vi sing or fall asleep in the passenger seat to the hum of the road going by beneath me? I could still ride horses with some provisions- like we may go more where the horse wants to go rather than where I want to go. I always have had a bad habit of squeezing my eyes shut going over big jumps anyway. And finally I'd have an excuse for always wearing black and grey which is both comfortable, easy and suits me but I'm told often I need to get some color in my wardrobe. I would have the ultimate excuse for never trying to read a sheet of music again in my life. If I were deaf I could never lay my head against Dean's chest and hear the beat of his heart again. But smell is so underappreciated and I think alot of people would rather give up smell before sight or sound. I think it would be more practible but then I think of never smelling the pavement after a sudden summer rainstorm again, or the scent of lilacs, bacon frying, the smell of coffee or bubblegum, the smell when you first bring your Christmas tree in...
Tough choices. I hope I never have to choose.
My foot is still hurting from dropping a bookcase on it. The black and blue has moved to my toes so it looks like I have a touch of gangrene, or maybe a pedicure gone terribly awry.
Ave is snoring and I try to move her to a position where she doesn't gurgle but then she struggles back to her sleep position. I'm glad I had the foresight to get one of those quickie thermometers where you stick it in the person's ear. It has become quite handy and is so, so much less an ordeal than the old style thermometers(I always used glass up until now because I didn't trust the digital ones, especial when I got three different readings over the course of 10 minutes. Pthththtb.
So much has changed around here in a few short weeks. Cleaning has been a big part of that but even moreso, the philosophy of less is more colliding with the word 'simplify' echoing through my head constantly.
Hmmm, wonder what's for dinner?
Comments