I have lots this year. I don't really believe in New Year's Resolutions. If you want to make a change, then damn well do it. But I've been assessing my life a great deal lately- lots of think time with being sick and having a sick kid in bed with me 24-7 for the past four days.
1. Lose the clutter
- Clean the house, garage, attic, yard and get rid of what isn't needed and not used regardless of its potential future possibilities
- Clean up my relationship clutter. Get some 'closure' on some relationships, try on some forgiveness, spend time with those I really want to invest in (seek your friends with hours to live, not time to kill or something like that).
- Cull my books. I have three kindles now. I will save some of my classics and favorites in hardcover but having wall-to-wall books is clutter. No, I don't collect baskets, pitchers or hummel figurines but I do collect books. Sometimes I think they weigh me down so I do not become the nomad I think I might have been had I put "books and schools in abeyance".
- Get the taxes settled, duh.
- Learn to play the guitar well enough that I can accompany us as we sit around the fire singing witout having rocks thrown at me.
- Try to love every minute of my life. I know at the outset this is an impossible task but the world is so full of beauty, everywhere I turn it is in front of me. Even in the shittiest of moments I want to try and find myself immersed in beauty.
- I want to love the people around me so well that they could never doubt it. Connect more, connect more often, connect on deeper levels.
- Work on my legacy. I'm not sure the world rejoiced when I was born, nor that I cried- but I would like to live such that when I die, the world cries and I rejoice.
And now to the hard ones:
BE A BETTER MOTHER
- Listen, really listen.
- Play. I want my children to exhault in the magic of childhood. I want to lead by example.
- Teach my girls to appreciate the small things
- Teach them to appreciate the gifts they give that no one else even knows they gave.
- Hug, kiss and snuggle them more(if that is even possible)
- Go to the ocean more.
- Ride horses more.
- Write more.
- Be more like them- be more aware of wonder, sleep hard, play hard, do not live in a distant future but in the immediacy of the moment.
- Be less afraid. Live my life. Let me be the gardener that coaxes my children's souls to blossom.
- Love my husband in ways my girls can see. Allow him to love me back. Let this be the script upon which my children base their own relationships.
Paint more, travel more, swim more, hike more, bike more, ride more, be crazy. Be alive. Be real. Try and fail and try again. Be present. Be in love.
Here's hoping 2012 is an amazing year.
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