I heard on some talk show- probably Oprah, oh so many years ago when we had regular cable and I occasionally TiVo-ed Oprah- Dr. Phil counseling some mothers who had lost their children. I want to say it was the show about the woman who left her 9-year-old son(or something like that) in her car while she ran into a convenience store to buy something to drink. Some car jacker jumped in her car and she tried to get her son out of the backseat. He got caught in the seatbelt and was dragged to death.
I don't know, one human being to any other, how any mother could survive that- trying to save your child then, because of your efforts, watch your child dragged to death as someone sped off in your car.
The punishment far, far, far outweighs the crime of leaving your child in a running car to run into a store to get a drink. How could you possibly forsee that outcome and moreso, how could you not live every moment of the rest of of your not not asking yourself, "What if?"
The answer to that question is that we only die one day and to put all of our focus on that day somehow dishonors or fails to give credit to all the other days that we LIVED.
So, when I die... throw a party, because, my dears, I have lived WELL. I have LIVED. I have LOVED. I have seen the world, travelled to far places, met oh-so-very interesting people, had good friends- yes, some for a reason, some for a season but a few very special ones for what I know will be a lifetime.
If you are not sure about how much I have lived... let me tell you, I rode Foxy on a trail ride the other day past hang gliders, road traffic, kids running through gravel, past a rattlesnake and we only had one spook that didn't even come close to unseating me.
Last night I cantered Foxy and jumped her over a few two foot jumps and it was about as close to flying as I've ever been(and not off her). Most young horses need alot of reassurance when they first start jumping, not Foxy. She is the bravest horse I've ever ridden. She is an old soul. You can see it in her eye. Yet she is curious, interested in everything and willing to do anything.
I held him in my hands until he stopped breathing and then we put him back in his castle for one more night before his funeral. He was born here- one of Lilian's babies, spent his whole life with us and died here.
We called him "The King of the Keep" because he had a little plastic castle that he made his nest inside and we would lure him out with peanuts(still in their shell) and he would drag them back inside. He lived the longest of any of Lilian's babies and was, by far, the most beloved of them. With his personality and ineffable verve, I have no doubt that animals have spirits or souls and I wish his a good journey on from this place and hope that his time with us was all good. We tried to make it so.
We love you Spot and cannot wait to see you again on the other side, wherever that might be. Good travels, our little king.
BTW- these are all baby pictures of Spot but he lived over two years and we have many more photos and memories but these are among my favorite of him. It is amazing and wonderful both to watch someone come into this world and to leave it.